Flying Monkeys: How the Narcissist's Circle Continues the Abuse
Flying monkeys are people in the narcissist's circle who continue their manipulation — often unknowingly. How to recognize them and protect yourself.
You've cut ties with the narcissist. But mutual friends start calling with "concern," passing on messages, telling you "how badly they're doing." This is not coincidence.
1. Who Are Flying Monkeys
The term comes from The Wizard of Oz — flying monkeys carried out the Wicked Witch's orders. In psychology: people from the narcissist's circle who are used to:
- Collect information about the victim
- Relay messages (attempts to restore contact)
- Apply pressure ("they say you treated them terribly")
- Destroy the victim's reputation
- Create guilt and doubt
2. How the Narcissist Builds Their Network
The narcissist constructs a narrative: they are the victim, you are the aggressor or "strange." People who only saw the "good" narcissist readily believe it. The narcissist uses people who are emotionally significant to the victim — relatives, best friends.
3. How to Protect Yourself
- NC extends to flying monkeys — if they are actively participating in the manipulation
- Do not reveal information about your life through mutual acquaintances
- "Information quarantine": minimize personal sharing in shared circles
Talk to our AI psychologist psybot.app. Read also: No Contact Strategy.